i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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