My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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