Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
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i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
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Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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