summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Sober January is a disaster.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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