We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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