I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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