You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
