you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.