If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
