JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
