im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
