His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
