Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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