Don't you send me to vm
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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