there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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