youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
