So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
