And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
The air taste purple.
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