Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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