No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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