omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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