think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
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Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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