you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
