he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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