Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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