i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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