Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You are the jesus of drinking
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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