People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
