wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
