I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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