got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
