It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize