You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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