Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
