Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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