i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
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Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
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Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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