I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
