Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
her facebook's as public as her vagina
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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