So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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