I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
