I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
