it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
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I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
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Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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