Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD

Fav 24 1000 5413
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.

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(815): View more from Illinois

my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves

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(912): View more from Georgia

Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.

Fav 4 2118 1118
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(210): View more from Texas

im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!

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(707): View more from California

New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice

Fav 6 900 1451
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(956): View more from Texas

If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.

Fav 1 436 668
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them

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