I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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