So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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