Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize