He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
