you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
