I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My pussy is not your playground.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
