do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
