and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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