You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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