Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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